Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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