You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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