There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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