i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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