all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
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He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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