my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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