rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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