You can't special order awesome
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize