I bet he comes in French.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Success! We fucked roommates!
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