I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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