i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize