I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize