I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize