This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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