I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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