Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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