We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize