I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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