I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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