i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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