Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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