girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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