So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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