I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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