life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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