The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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