That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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