I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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