I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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