please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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