Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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