Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
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I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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