Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
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He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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