Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize