youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize