so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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