I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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