Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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