I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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