Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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