I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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