He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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