So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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