u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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