Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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