I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize