he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
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Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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