I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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