"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Too much gin, very little bucket
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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