I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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