I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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